MonkeyDolittle

*Inserts really thoughtful message about myself and who I am here*

July 22, 2014 6:00 pm

natured:

I get insanely uncomfortable when people have their own selfies as their phone wallpaper. 

(via sorry)

12:00 pm

tardisity:

The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realest shit ever then you can get right on outta town.

(via narwhal-noir)

6:00 am

itsdeepforhappypeople:

rainbow-femme:

If you ever think how white people act in horror movies is just a stereotype remember that my grandma used to work in an insane asylum and for fun during her downtime on the night shift she would wander around the abandoned tunnels under the asylum where 8 people had died

what the fuck your grandma is metal as fuck

(via narwhal-noir)

July 21, 2014 6:00 pm

theh0use0fblack:

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)

"This wizard was seen in the Leaky Cauldron in 1993, reading the Muggle book A Brief History of Time by Stephen W. Hawking while his cup of coffee stirred itself.” (x)

(Source: odious, via trusthim)

12:00 pm

goldella:

I never actually say hi to my friends, I just make creepy faces at them from a distance.

(Source: luxurae, via narwhal-noir)

6:00 am

tardis-mind-palace:

ruthyless:

when i was younger i had a really bad fear of vampires when i was going to sleep so my older brother gave me a watch that he set to like 8 hours ahead so that it was always daytime on the watch when i was asleep and he told me it would confuse the vampires and they would think it was daytime and get scared of the sun and leave me alon

Your brother is the best

(via narwhal-noir)

July 20, 2014 6:00 pm
hopel3ssly:

riarai:

Everyone always talks about hazel and augustus but people rarely appreciate the beautiful friendship between isaac and augustus.

this makes me so sad

hopel3ssly:

riarai:

Everyone always talks about hazel and augustus but people rarely appreciate the beautiful friendship between isaac and augustus.

this makes me so sad

(Source: patrick-or-nothing, via your-forever-is-all-ineed)

12:01 pm 6:00 am

when will my life begin?

(Source: boundbyspirit, via greengrassanddaisychains)

July 19, 2014 6:01 pm

nuditea:

straight women who casually use the word “girlfriend” to refer to their platonic lady friends, i have nothing against you, but you make the world really confusing,

(via narwhal-noir)

12:01 pm
spoopying:

"man this essay is taking forever"

spoopying:

"man this essay is taking forever"

(Source: nan-fucket, via narwhal-noir)

6:00 am

i swear i get uglier everyday

(Source: mammamoon, via sorry)

July 18, 2014 6:00 pm
spontaneousmusicalnumber:


chusovitina:

hanamon:

kanaya-maryam-is-dead:

angryvriska:

cyberacat:

youtastedalektable:


she had a tough time getting out of the block pit

IF YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN I A BLOCK PIT THEN YOU DONT KNWO THE FEAR. IT SUCKS YOU IN DEEPER AS YOU TRY TO MOVE. IT’S LIKE THE MUGGLE’S DEVIL’S SNARE MAN.

YOU HAVE TO USE ALL YOUR STRENGTH TO GET OUT OF THOSE FUCKERS
OKAY
I HAVE BEEN IN ONE AND ITS LIKE SWIMMING IF YOU DON’T STOP MOVING YOU EITHER FLOAT OR SINK THERE IS NO IN BETWEEN

WE HAD THESE WHEN I USED TO BE IN GYMNASTICS AND I HATED THESE FUCKING THINGS THEY SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME

I ONCE GOT STUCK AT THE BOTTOM OF ONE OF THESE AND WHEN PEOPLE CAME TO LOOK FOR ME, I GOT STEPPED ON TWICE

so when i was seven i got stuck at the bottom of one and i blacked out. apparently it took them 45 minutes to empty the pit enough to find me. my therapist believes this is why i have claustrophobia.

At least she’s face up. The worst is when you go in head first. I’ve been pulled out by my toes several times.

#FRIENDS I HAVE SOME ADVICE FOR YOU#DO NOT TRY TO WALK OR SWIM OUT OF A BLOCK PIT#GET YOURSELF HORIZONTAL#AND THEN ROLL OUT#IT WORKS JUST LIKE TANK TREADS GOING OVER UNEVEN TERRAIN#ITS THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN GET SOME TRACTION AND NOT GET SUCKED BACK IN
YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST YOU UN-ATHLETIC FRICKERS
DONT PANIC
TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT

spontaneousmusicalnumber:

chusovitina:

hanamon:

kanaya-maryam-is-dead:

angryvriska:

cyberacat:

youtastedalektable:

she had a tough time getting out of the block pit

IF YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN I A BLOCK PIT THEN YOU DONT KNWO THE FEAR. IT SUCKS YOU IN DEEPER AS YOU TRY TO MOVE. IT’S LIKE THE MUGGLE’S DEVIL’S SNARE MAN.

YOU HAVE TO USE ALL YOUR STRENGTH TO GET OUT OF THOSE FUCKERS

OKAY

I HAVE BEEN IN ONE AND ITS LIKE SWIMMING IF YOU DON’T STOP MOVING YOU EITHER FLOAT OR SINK THERE IS NO IN BETWEEN

WE HAD THESE WHEN I USED TO BE IN GYMNASTICS AND I HATED THESE FUCKING THINGS THEY SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME

I ONCE GOT STUCK AT THE BOTTOM OF ONE OF THESE AND WHEN PEOPLE CAME TO LOOK FOR ME, I GOT STEPPED ON TWICE

so when i was seven i got stuck at the bottom of one and i blacked out. apparently it took them 45 minutes to empty the pit enough to find me. my therapist believes this is why i have claustrophobia.

At least she’s face up. The worst is when you go in head first. I’ve been pulled out by my toes several times.

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST YOU UN-ATHLETIC FRICKERS

DONT PANIC

TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT

(via narwhal-noir)

12:01 pm
  • Satan: [appears]
  • Satan: You can have anything you wan--
  • Me: LANGUAGE.
  • Satan: What?
  • Me: GIVE ME EVERY LANGUAGE.
  • Satan: What the--?
  • Me: YOU SAID ANYTHING. GIVE ME EVERY LANGUAGE IN THE WORLD.
  • Satan: Wouldn't you rather have love or money?
  • Me: EVERY. LANGUAGE. MASTERY OF EVERY LANGUAGE. NOW.
6:00 am

It always creeps me out…

frontyardigan:

therealeovaldez:

phoneticfrenetic:

crowley-for-king:

…that no matter

image

how close

image

you get

image

the pupil

image

seems to

image

devour light

image

like a black hole

image

it reflects no light

That’s because the pupil is literally a hole in the iris that lets light enter the retina. No light is reflected by the pupil because it is either absorbed directly into the tissues of the eye, or it is absorbed after it is refracted around the inside of the eye.

Then black holes are merely the eyes of the universe

Whoa

(via ordon-village)